Picking Up The Pieces
by WintersOrchid
Summary: After a war is won, how do you continue to live your life? Do you try and act like it never happened, or do you accept it and move on as best you can while missing those who were close to your heart? Matsu/Gin at beginning.
1. Concrete Memories

Rangiku watched Ichigo and Aizen disappear into the horizon with her head laid on Gin's shoulder, lacing her fingers with his. She felt his head move and tilted her head up towards his face to meet his opened eyes.

"Ran-Chan, Ran-chan. I'm so sorry. I'm so-" He was cut off by a bubble of blood that welled up in his mouth.

"Shhh…" Rangiku wiped the blood from his mouth. "Save your strength. You'll need it."

He squeezed her hand in response.

"I did it…. I did it…." He repeated.

She frowned at him. "Did what, Gin?"

"Fer you," he gasped out.

"I know," she whispered as she tied a tourniquet around his bleeding stump.

Rangiku laid her head back down on his shoulder and placed her free hand over the long gash stretching across his torso, sending healing kido into it.

Why else would she stand in front of Aizen, if not to protect the man she loved from his killer? In the aftermath of the revealed treacheries, Rangiku had pretended to be outraged just like everyone else.

In private, she had mourned Gin's absence by crying herself to sleep and pretending he was just over in his division, in his own bed.

"I know," she repeated into the strange, white cloth covering his chest. His heartbeat stuttered, and then picked up evenly, if not a bit labored.

She was so tired and didn't want to move from Gin's side. Even the concrete was feeling softer. Gin's breathing evened out and she knew he was asleep. Whether he would wake up from his sleep was as uncertain as her survival, she mused.

Kira had patched her side, but it was the equivalent of slapping duct tape over a leak in a decrepit dam. It would hold the water in, but the rest of the wall was shot to hell anyway, so it didn't matter either way. She could feel her blood pooling in the empty space that once held organs.

What would her captain say when he found out she had healed and protected a traitor? She could picture his face, rage turning the air around him sharp with cold. If she had the strength, she might have laughed at her mental picture. Who would help him through the aftermath? Even if he was a captain, he was still just a kid.

Rangiku would never tell anyone, but she sometimes felt like his mother. She had found him in Rukongai, brought him into Soul Society and helped him become a captain. He was her responsibility.

She just wanted to sleep. Just close her eyes and forget everything but Gin for awhile.

The sun shone down on both their prone forms as they quietly lay next to each other, fingers entertained and blood congealing around their bodies.


	2. Wipe it Away From Us

Hitsugaya stood next to Matsumoto's bed, watching her chest rise and fall. She was properly covered for once: the thin medical gown reached almost to her neck, barely showing the hollow of her throat and the blankets were pulled up to her armpits, her arms lying uselessly on top of the covers.

Histugaya sat down on the bed-side chair, putting his head next to her arms and twisting uncomfortably to keep her face in his view.

He'd found her just in time, her breath had been strained and irregular when he had pulled her off Gin and her side squished sickeningly when he touched it.

Histugaya had somehow kept her alive with his poor healing skills, managing to keep her lungs clear and slow the massive hemorrhage bleeding into her empty side. The organs and ribs had been torn out and arteries ripped opened, and while Kira had stopped the bleeding, he couldn't replace organs, so he covered her side with skin to prevent further blood loss and reduce the risk of infection.

When she chased after Gin, the stop-gap healing measures had opened up and blood congealed in the hollow cavity. Histugaya found her minutes later, throwing himself to his knees and praying to any deity who would listen to listen as he tried to keep her alive.

He promised her that he would never yell at her for drinking, shirking her lieutenant duties and ignoring her paperwork as she lay quiet and unresponsive under his hands.

Unohana had sent some of her division members to stabilize and mover her to the healing ward, but Hitsugaya had fought them off, convinced she would die if he took his hands off her. Unohana herself had finally shown up in person after making sure Hinamori and the small, foul-mouthed visored would live.

Her lieutenant and fifth seat had to pry him away as Unohana settled herself next to Matsumoto's side, extending her hands and chanting under her breath to set up a clean-air barrier.

Gin's body had been taken into Seireitei and placed under strict supervision, just in case. Hinamori was still in a coma, watch by guards who were under orders to slap reiastu-sealing handcuffs on her the minute she woke up. No-one wanted a repeat of the last time she was under arrest.

Hitsugaya folded his arms on the bed, resting the right side of his face on them so he could watch Matsumoto's face. He had to admit she was a beautiful woman, but she was more than a century older than he was, and while he loved her, it was more of a platonic, sibling-sort of love. She was like an older sister, someone who had guided him through the academy and helped him become a captain.

He couldn't imagine the tenth division without her and could now understand Ukitake's depression after his lieutenant died.

As he watched her be critically injured by Allon, then later when he couldn't find her, his heart had stopped. When he traced her spiritual pressure (fading so quickly by the time he could get up after Aizen's attack), his heart leaped into his throat and started pounding in his head when her blood-stained hair and standard black uniform appeared.

It felt as if his heart had lodged itself in his throat and expanded when his eyes took in the puddle of blood under and around her, preventing him from breathing. Her life seemed to flash before his eyes and he started really panicking.

She was safe now under Unohana's watchful eye. Hitsugaya could still feel the lump in his throat as he reverently touched her arm, watching his fingers press lightly into her skin.

He still felt like he could feel the slick blood from Hinamori, Gin and Matsumoto on his fingers. He had scrubbed his hands raw and chapped until Hyorinmaru brushed against Hitsugaya's mind, stopping him from continuing until he had scrubbed down to the bone in an attempt to clean his hands.

He had sat around the Fourth, waiting for reports on Matsumoto and Hinamori, ignoring the blood seeping into and drying on the white of his uniform and captain's cloak. When he had tried to wash the blood out, the remaining brown stains had convinced him to just throw everything out before scrubbing his whole body raw and violently washing his pale hair repeatedly.

Afterwards, he had cleaned Hyorinmaru by stripping the fabric off the hilt and replacing it, scrubbing Hyorinmaru until the blade shone and Hyorinmaru had cried out in pain.

When he was done, he marched straight back to the Fourth to wait for the two women to wake up. As much as he wanted to divide his time between the two, Hinamori had been moved to a different room, and everyone but Unohana and Isane had been barred from seeing her.

He woke with the feeling of fingers combing through his hair and a soft voice humming. As he raised his head from his arms, Matsumoto dropped her hand back down to the bed and smiled at him when he blinked groggily at her.

"Good morning, Captain. How's your arm?"

"Matsumoto…" he didn't know what to say.

She seemed to understand and ruffled his hair.

"You know," she started with a sly smile. "If you're injured badly when you're young, it can affect your growth."

He glared at her without any real anger as she quietly laughed. Matsumoto struggled to sit up and Histugaya piled the pillows up behind her back as she painfully wriggled her body back.

When she was comfortable, Hitsugaya sat on the bed, leaning over to wrap his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around him, stroking his back as he trembled and apologized over and over for her injuries like he had stood by and watched her be injured without intervening.

"It's ok, Captain, I promise. I'm still here. I'm still here," she repeated.

"Sorry," he kept apologizing. "I thought you had died and all I could think about was how often I got angry at you."

Matsumoto was uncharacteristically quiet for a couple minutes, then, "I thought I heard you saying you weren't going to get onto me for drinking anymore. Does this mean I can go drinking and shopping whenever I want and not get into trouble!"

"No."

"But-"

"No. I need your help in the office, and it's your job to help me in the division anyway."

She pouted. "You're no fun, Captain. Lighten up and have a fun childhood." She smirked, waiting for him to get angry and yell about how he was a captain, not a little kid.

Instead he sighed and hugged her closer.

"I'm glad you're ok, Matsumoto."

"Captain… You're so cute! Let me clutch you to my bosom!"

She pressed his head to her chest like she was trying to smother him.

He struggled half-heartedly because he knew it would take a lot of force to extract himself from her arms and because he really didn't want to; he was just happy that she was alive and well enough to be her old self.

She squished him close for a few minutes, and then let him go.

"Are you trying to smother me Matsumoto?" He angrily shouted through a smile, playing along with her attempt to force life back into normalcy.

"Awww… You're hurting my feelings captain. I'm just trying to show my love and affection for you."

She reached for him again, probably trying to smoosh his head into her breasts again, but he danced out of reach.

"You're trying to kill me."

"I would never!" She sounded affronted. "Who would do the paperwork if you didn't?"

A few minutes passed in silence before Hitsugaya broke it.

"I'm glad you're ok, Matsumoto."

"You keep saying that, Captain."

"I know, but that doesn't make it any less true."

They grinned at each other until a knock sounded on the door.

"Excuse me, Captain Hitsugaya." Isane opened the door and walked over to Matsumoto's bed, closing the door behind her.

"I need to check on Lieutenant Matsumoto."

"Alright, I'll be back tomorrow, Matsumoto." He turned to leave, and then abruptly turned back towards her. "I forgot to tell you. Haineko's in the office. Do you want me to bring her with me?"

Matsumoto's eyes lit up. "Yes, please! Thank you."

Hitsugaya smiled at her one last time as he closed the door. Letting out a sigh, he leaned against the wall, feeling for the first time like the war had actually been won.


End file.
